Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ‘Merica, happy birthday to you!
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” That is the most famous line from the Declaration of Independence. I didn’t know that until just now, you know I googled it!:) What would we do without Google?! When I read that, it resonated more with me different today. I had been chasing happiness for a long time, I had a lot of fun doing it, but when the fun was over, and you’re so sick and tired of being sick and tired, all you want is to live a normal life, without those morning shakes, just happiness, and maybe a cup of coffee. So what is the pursuit of happiness?! I think it’s the journey of finding who YOU are and what YOU want out of YOUR life; not what other people tell you to want or what others think will make you happy, because no ones knows but you!
Normally, around this smoky, saturated and sweaty holiday; I would always watch “Independence Day”, the OG one, not the new one, for anyone that thinks the 2016 version is the only one, shame!;) I can just hear “Today, we celebrate our Independence Day”! Bill Pullman slinging speeches, Will Smith falling in love with strippers and fighting actual aliens. And if that wasn’t enough… Jeff Goldblum makes a great addition to the film, of course knows very important facts pertaining to the situation, as per usual, and has that smart, sexy wit that I just love about him! Damn, I might be late to my 3rd of July festivities, I gotta watch Independence Day before I head out!
Three years ago, 4th of July fell on a Thursday, I had taken post 4th, aka the 5th off, had a nice loooong holiday weekend planned, and you guessed it, was ready to party! I was also dating an old boyfriend back then, it was one of those 6 month stints, and we were always down for a good time. We were drunk that whole weekend, but Friday, Friday we decided to go on a trip! We normally woke up on the weekends to breakfast, morning screwdrivers and vodka shots, accompanied by a trip to one of our favorite breakfast bars for a few brunch turned, lunch cocktails. This holiday weekend was no different, except we had a few extra days of debauchery, as well as a quick trip to the casino, a.m. drunk casino plays are a definite necessity at times, what if we win!? We didn’t, shit; we then head to two of our favorite, local, watering holes. Already pretty inebriated, we decided to move our 2 person party home, we needed to see how our dogs were handling the fireworks! Dogs are of course scared shitless, and snuggled in the bathtub together, so they’re good. We then remember there are some mushrooms in the freezer, hmmmm, there’s an idea. I hadn’t done mushrooms since I was probably a sophomore in college, not my first time but the last time, I remember peaking in the Bucco Jucco McDonald’s drive thru, passenger seat all the way, and hilarity ensued the whole time… I should have video taped that whole night, this was pre-IPhone, no judgies for referring to a video TAPED recording! This time, 3 years ago now, we found mushroom capsules in the freezer, we had bought them earlier in the week, they didn’t come with the house or anything, so I opened my hand and down the hatch they went. The funny thing about mushrooms is, they take a while to “kick in”, so if you set it and forget it, like your crockpot Betty, you’ll be good and toasty, usually, within an hour. After my scaries passed, I really only remember coming to, laying on my then boyfriend’s concrete driveway, both of us looking at the sky with nothing but laughter, full on jammin’ to “bring it on home to me” by Sam Cooke, for most likely the 100th time! We spent that entire night on the driveway, no blankets or pads I might add, crawling around like Macgyver. I mean, can you imagine what the neighbors thought!? I’ll tell you, obviously Sam Cooke is awesome but even Sam knew, a change has gotta come!
Last 4th of July, 2021, I was as yellow as a twinkie, always sunk in the couch, and full of fluids. Not the kinds of fluids I was used to, these fluids had to be drained out of my very swollen stomach every 1-2 weeks. I was in no shape to go on any kind of a trip, even a trip to the grocery store was not happening, I had lost all of my strength. I was also very sad and depressed last year, I tried not telling anyone how I was feeling, simply because I had made myself sick, I had chosen to use up all of my “fun tickets” (credit to a really great woman for that saying, PR I miss and love you). I had quit using moderation or good judgement, and I was convinced I would never be able to celebrate another holiday, be in a pool, or enjoy a big ass birthday party, without that booze!
This year, my boyfriend and I are getting ready to spend a great day with family and friends, I also got to go swimming yesterday, and I am really looking forward to spending the biggest birthday celebration of the year, completely alcohol free. It took me a year to unlearn all of my old habits, which were always accompanied with drinking, or sadness, because of the day that awaited me post party. Would I have to deal with being hungover, who will drive me home, what if we run out of liquor and the stores are closed!? I used to always need alcohol to have fun, and to be excited about doing something. The booze rules and menu were always a google search for me. Do I need airplane bottles or do they have what I need, where are we going, who’s driving, etc., etc. It’s so much work to be an alcoholic, I had no time to be happy. Now, my pursuit to happiness is thankfully, not based upon my BAC level, thank the Lord, or needing to be so f*cked up that I end up passing out or falling on my face, instead of sitting back, enjoying my present, and lighting some big ass Birthday candles! JK, I only like sparklers… ya’ll know how clumsy I am, there is no need to bring fire into it.
Everybody have a great and safe holiday weekend, if I have learned anything, cops know ya’ll like to drink this weekend, obvi:), have a plan for mushroom safe trips, and always find a couch to pass out on, or call an uber! Maybe I will pick ya up!! Oh and don’t try and steal the Declaration of Independence, Nick Cage is the only one who can do that, and I have to say, I am surprised Jeff Goldblum wasn’t there to help him!
Hasta my friends, see ya on the flip side and stay tuned as always!
Preface: My father was given this website address at his dental appointment a couple of days ago. That is how I came about your story.
Wow, what an inspirational story you have. This resonates with me so much. I don’t know where to begin. I have been in a lot of the same or similar situations but with my own life’s perspectives. After the loss of my brother, it got really bad. I was diagnosed with 70% body coverage of plaque psoriasis which was exacerbated by alcohol and the stress from losing him as we were best of friends. He was my ride or die like no other, we were inseparable. I was later diagnosed with PTSD from his loss. My alcoholism became severe due to depression. After my psoriasis diagnosis I was desperate to get in to see a doctor as they had a long waiting time. In those months to follow my primary care provider prescribed me Methotrexate and Prednisone until I could see a dermatologist. Once finally getting in to see a dermatologist they eventually got me on Humira. After a year of taking these meds together to combat the psoriasis I got up one day and got in the shower only to discover a small few ‘red dots’ on my right ankle. I had also been experiencing some difficulty breathing. By the evening time both legs and arms were covered in these red dots which was later described as Henoch-Schonlein purpura. Essentially the blood vessels were rupturing on my skin. I went to the ER and was diagnosed with a severe upper respiratory infection and was coughing up blood for days. Enough to fill a cup within a couple of hours, only to be released from the hospital a month later (I went in on March 4th, 2017, of that year and was released on April 1st). I remembered thinking it was an April fool’s day prank when they released me. During that time, I had to be on a bipap (much like a cpap) to help my breathing amongst other dietary and water restrictions.
This was only the beginning of what became a 4-year battle with liver failure, during which I went through countless hospital stays. I had severe nosebleeds and was in the hospital pretty much every 2 weeks for 2 weeks, in and out, back and forth. My MELD score fluctuated as my condition ebbed and flowed along with my pain. I had many paracenteses to remove excess fluids from my abdomen eventually being scheduled every Friday at noon. They would limit it to 10 liters at a time followed by albumin infusions, after which I was so exhausted that I would pass out and crash for the next day only to do it all over again. I had stopped drinking after the first hospital stay that lasted for a month, but my body was still failing me. The doctors told me my liver failure was caused by an autoimmune response to the medication I was taking that had caused the purpura, but I know that the amount of alcohol that I drank when my brother passed away didn’t help anything.
After many months and several years of trying in to get to KU for a liver transplant, my prayers were finally answered. I finally received my liver transplant on June 6th of 2018. My MELD score had reached 42 at the worst. I promised the doctors and made the commitment to never drink alcohol again. It was the least I could do for being afforded a new lease on life. Unfortunately, my transplant had to come from a deceased individual whom I have yet to learn more about, nor had the chance to be in contact with their family. During all of this process I had to undergo kidney dialysis 6 times because my liver could only take so much and as it failed my kidneys began to take the brunt of the burden to bear. (I know I am leaving a lot out and there is so much more to say). I lost the ability to walk on my own the November before my transplant.
While I was in the hospital the doctors had indicated they detected a heart murmur which they initially believed to be congenital but later said it was likely due to a viral infection while in the hospital. I had gone from 265lbs down to 135lbs throughout those 4 years. After my liver transplant I had to go through physical therapy to learn how to walk all over again. During my transplant, when I came out of the anesthesia, I was awake long enough for the doctors to tell me and my father that there was excessive internal bleeding and they had to go back in. They knocked me back out and reoperated on me. My dad was the only one who was there for me. He stayed in the hospital with me for months on end sleeping on those small couches and hard chairs, bouncing back and forth between them and a nearby hotel room.
While going through physical therapy and post-operation monitoring the doctors indicated that they needed to perform open-heart surgery on me because they found out my heart murmur was due to a damaged aorta valve. They did not think I would survive the operation because I had lost so much weight though so they postponed it twice until I could get my apatite back and put on more weight.
I had an aortic valve replacement the following March 26th of 2019, followed by a few months of cardiac rehab.
I decided that I wanted to continue my education so that I could tell my success story to those who have been in my shoes and those on their death beds, much like I had been more than once. I forgot to mention that my potassium level was so high twice that my nephrologist indicated that it could stop my heart at any moment and 2 of the kidney dialysis were emergency dialysis. I had a passion for the medical field prior to enduring all of this and I earned my undergraduate (Bachelors) degree in Biology with minors in Chemistry and Sociology. I returned to WSU and recently graduated with my Masters of Science degree in Microbiology, walking across the stage on May 14th of this year (sadly the same day I lost my female dog who was only 2 years old).
I am currently pursuing a career in the medical field taking the MCAT to see if I can get into medical school on August 26th. I am also pursuing working as a medical scribe currently. I have an interview on Thursday 7/7!
I have so much more I could say, this is just the ‘quick and dirty version’ so to speak! Much more to share. More stories of the pain.
Happy 4th of July!
Hi Alex!!! First, thank you so much for reading and sharing your story! And oh my goodness you have been through it, and your dog. 😢 I can’t imagine! I’m so happy you’re better and things are going well!
Are you okay with posting this as a comment or I can keep it private. You let me know!
Also- the meld score. So scary, and your fluid. They would give me albumin if I was over 5 liters but yeah. Those paras take it out of you! Congrats on your journey and good luck on your interview!! That is amazing. I’m sure walking across the stage felt fantastic! Please feel free to reach out anytime! 💗✌🏻🌻
Hey Ashley,
Yes, I am okay with posting this as a comment. I would like my story to be an inspiration to others and to reach as many as it can. This is just the tip of the iceberg into a glimpse of my life.
Also, thank you so much for sharing your story as well and for your kind words. I will surely stay in contact.
I hope you have a safe and happy 4th of July with your family.
-Alex
I would love that! Thanks Alex!
Happy 4th to you and your family as well! 🇺🇸💗✌🏻
it is always nice to come across another individual that has been on the other side of that needle and pump and gone through some of the shit we have been through, a lot of people don’t get to tell the tale of how damaging alcohol had been to their body, my MELD score got up to a 41 and at my last gastroenterologist appointment it was at 14, doctors have no scientific explanation for what has taken place over the past 8 months, its definitely a subject we could all sit down and have coffee over because we would be here for days if we typed out everything we went through that’s for sure. i was actually in the ER for pain last night, did the whole spheel x-ray,ct-scan, blood drawn, IV, covid swab ofcourse, and all of the results came back perfect including liver enzymes, my kidney function was at 68% but thats an improvement from last months 66% and way better than 6% and on dialysis in January. only thing abnormal was my creac levels which had also dropped since my last lab work was done the previous month, im convinced i just have a fart of enormous magnitude that is trapped causing the pain or something. anyways glad we are all still continuing to spit in deaths face and refuse to fall to it, keep fighting the fight my freinds!