How does one go from not being able to get up in the mornings without a swig of vodka, to being completely okay with ordering 3 Shirley temples while you’re on a Saint Louis style, neighborhood bar tour? I have no clue. But I did it yesterday, and it was actually a really good time.
I think this is because I have always “been at the bar”. Since before I could walk I have been at the bar, literally. I recently listened to the author of “this naked mind”, Annie Grace, on one of my favorite podcasts, Dopey. If you haven’t heard of Dopey it’s a show about drug use, relapse and dumb sh*t; sprinkled with some recovery. It’s fantastic, but I love those kinds of podcasts, you know, the entertaining ones to people who like to hear about other people doing dumb shit, also, when they’re f*cked up. Like holy sh*t, some other asshat got lost and had to hitchhike in Mexico also?! Whew, I thought it was just me.
Anywho, where was I? Oh yes. Fun at the bar without the hangover shooter. Annie was the guest on Dopey, and it was as if she was reading my mind. She said, be at the bar, you don’t have to drink… Yes!!! That’s how I felt. Everyone told me, Ashley, you can’t go to the bar. You can’t be around people who drink. You can’t handle it. You can’t, and won’t be able to control your urges. What if something happens and you decide to have one drink and then you’ll have 27 and FML right? Yes. That’s all true and all of that could happen. But I could die tomorrow. I don’t know. Maybe it isn’t about being scared of what could happen, but knowing yourself, and trusting yourself enough to know when you can be out and in that type of “scene”, and if you can’t, you have to leave the situation. It’s all a personal choice. I realize this is easier said that done. But for me, If I was unable to be okay with being in the presence of alcohol without drinking alcohol. My life would be totally different. I didn’t and don’t want that. I had to figure out how to fix me and my problems, and not let other peoples actions (drinking) control my reactions (relapsing) or death, most likely for me. As Missy says, “you don’t really know my life, you don’t really know my struggles or how much liquor I guzzle”.
So what’s the secret. I have no idea but here’s what I think. I have been out for happy hour, at the dog track, at the State Line bar, at hotel NYE parties, on the golf course and chillin’ at the old school bar that unfortunately is no longer open in my hometown, The Commodore, since I was about 7. My dad toted me everywhere. Like I was his mini me, and I was. But I was in drinking establishments or around drinking themed events since well before I was partaking in vodka orange juices instead of orange crushes. Now none of this is “the Rents” fault and that’s not what I’m saying so don’t get it twisted;). But people that like the dog track, like talking “shop” and shooting the sh*t after work are my people. I was raised around railroaders, post golf-game club house hangs and with my grandpa Ed sitting around with his buddies at the local bar and grill, Andy’s. I am and was not shy around anything that is your local neighborhood watering hole and it’s patrons. It’s where I feel comfortable and welcome. Might sound weird but go to a random, local, neighborhood bar, anywhere, and ask the guy or gal next to you a question. I bet you’ll learn something you might not have known, like where the best tacos in the city are, or St Louis brick standards.
As my boyfriend and I walked from old neighborhood to old neighborhood around the Soulard area in St Louis I was so content and having fun just doing nothing. Not shaky or in need of my next drink. We took pictures, ate, drank (he beer and I Shirley’s of course) we sat on an empty corner in a beautiful neighborhood and admired all of the old, brick homes and beautiful, full, aged trees. We stopped for ac, bathroom & beverage breaks with some personal accounts of hauntings and Saint Louis history from Don at the Irish Corner. Now believe me, all of the things we did had options for Togo beverages, added alcohol in your froyo, wine with dinner, weird looks when I said no to a dirty Shirley over a virgin one. To everyone else not drinking isn’t an issue, but to me it’s another day alcohol free, and another day I get to wake up and enjoy the day!
Don’t let other peoples actions control your reactions. Hoping everyone has a happy Saturday followed by a feel good Sunday!
Hasta! ✌🏻🌻😎
I will double fist and pound shirly temples with you anytime, im kind of amazed that i often get replies after i ask for a shirly temple if i want it with alcohol. It kind og boggles my mind because ive never heard in my life of someone ordering an alcoholic shirley temple. BUT one time i didnt get asked and the waitress assumed i wanted alcohol in my shirley temple, and i was super thirsty so i sucked up a big gulp and swallowed and by my reaction you have thought i just drank cat urine, it was one of the most disgusting things ever to taste cheap vodka that tasted like hair spray in my shirly temple, so now days i ask for a non alcohol shirly temple, or if i get one and its in a fancy glass instead of a pepsi or cocacola cup my alcohol radar goes off and i start asking quearions imediatley, not sure why im writing this, maybe because ive known you my whole life, we share the same type of health issues, but most importantly we like to slam shirley temples .. thier delicious!!!
Well said my friend! ✌🏻💙✌🏻